"And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them and not forsake them."

Linda's testimony

Growing up in a small south Texas town, I experienced all the joys of those whimsical, naive and carefree days of childhood. Having been raised in a Christian home, I had a foundation of love and trust. I knew my parents loved me and I knew that Jesus loved me. I accepted Christ when I was eight years old.

Nothing could have prepared me for what was to come, however. Living a charmed life as a child was wonderful, but had its drawbacks. I didn’t know that one could suffer so much and certainly didn’t know how to handle the emotional pain that accompanies suffering.

At the age of 27, I was diagnosed with an eye disease that would eventually lead to blindness. I admit that I was devastated. How could that happen to me? No one in my family had ever been diagnosed with a serious eye disease. The retina specialist related that the disease was inherited, but how could that be? She said that it was degenerative and would be gradual. How gradual? Her best advice was to go home and do what I could for as long as I could and to consider not having any more children. Our baby girl was 6 months old at the time and we wanted more children.

For months, my emotions were on a roller coaster. I vacillated from shock to anger to fear. I had a million questions, mainly for God. I had learned as a little girl that He loved me. How could He let this happen to me if He loved me? I questioned the Lord, but also made my petitions to Him. I asked him for one specific thing for my future and that was to allow me to see my little girl become a woman and walk down the aisle.

As the months and years came and went, my vision did decline and eventually I gave up driving and then reading. The Lord taught me and grew my faith during those years of many losses. I learned what suffering really was through the many different circumstances that the Lord allowed us to go through as a family. I also learned the value of mourning. Blessed are those who mourn, because mourning is always followed by comfort from the God of comfort. However, the Lord did not forget my request to see my daughter walk down the aisle. Twenty years later, I knew the joy of that hot July afternoon when God was faithful and I witnessed the smiles and tears of that wonderful day.

My greatest loss has been that of color vision. I long to see the many hues of God’s magnificent creation. I can only remember the beautiful colors of the sunset in the western sky or the rainbow after the storm. All the while, God has been gracious to provide special people to paint that picture in my mind as we watched the sunrise over the Grand Canyon or visited the wonders of the glaciers in Montana.

Several years ago, we toured the National Parks of Canada and I spent the entire vacation praising God that I could see—though not in color—the beautiful mountains, incredible waterfalls and gorgeous scenery that adorns the Alberta region of Canada. Our last big event was the Calgary Stampede. It was a delightful time of watching the wagon races that were held in an outdoor arena. It doesn’t get dark until 11:00, so the skies were still visible when the announcer excitedly pointed out the rainbow over the arena. I looked in the direction that he reported and to my surprise and sheer delight, I saw the rainbow in all of its glory! I had not seen a rainbow in twenty-five years because of my lack of color vision. Seeing that rainbow was something only God could have done for me. His message written across the evening skies was clear: God is faithful. I have not always been faithful to Him, but He is always faithful to keep his promises.

I still can’t see rainbows, but the memory of the rainbow in the Canadian skies still lingers. I have faith that it is there and that the Lord is with me as I walk this road that is so unclear. My life’s scripture is found in Isaiah 42:16: 
"And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them and not forsake them."

Knowing the grace of God has brought me to a point in my life where I trust God to use me for his glory and my good. Through trusting the God of Hope, I have been delivered from the fear of losing my eyesight.

After reading my testimony, I hope you will be encouraged. I understand your pain. I know what it is to suffer. I know that the Lord has answers for you and that you do not have go through it alone. Someone once said that when you look at the world, you will be distressed; if you look within, you will be depressed; but if you look at Christ you will be at rest. I believe this is truth and by refocusing on Jesus, you can begin the journey of healing.
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